Full

Our sons are now two years old.

I am no longer a mother of three children under the age of two.

I can no longer cuddle Grayson like this and expect him to sit still (I still try!).

They no longer fit on my chest quite like this anymore either!

or squeeze their 35 pound bodies in to their car seats quite like their 5 pound bodies could!

Our home is now full.

Full of little boys who love to show how big they are (while holding their birthday candles).

Full of big boys in big bean bags that take up our entire living room floor.

Full of smiles and giggles that make this mama's heart burst.

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Ethan Douglas and Grayson John -

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

My life has changed completely because of you.

You have brought so much in to our lives.

I am so proud of you.

Fiercely in love with you.

Incredibly blessed to be your Mommy.

Happy 2nd birthday precious children of mine.

Don't You Ever Grow Up

I find myself at times thinking about how much easier life will be when my children are just a little bit older.

I often tell Chris "Well, when they are just a little bit older we can do so and so."

Sometimes I even find myself lost in a daydream of what life will be like when we no longer have to worry about diapers, naps, cutting up food, holding crying children....

And then I have moments when it hits me that life as we know it right now is changing much too quickly. I will soon look back and all of those things that I had only dreamt of will be a reality.

I can not believe that my baby boys, my tiny five pound babies, my firstborn sons, will be turning two tomorrow. How is that even possible?

Tonight as I fed Adelyn before bed, I sat her up to burp her and she was leaning forward resting on my hand. Her little tired head was resting against my chest, and I just buried my face in the back of her neck, kissed it, and just tried to stop and remember what that moment felt like. A quiet house, a dimly lit bedroom, the little warm body of my daughter nestled on my lap.

I always think I won't forget what moments like that felt like.
That we will have countless more evenings and feedings just like that.

But the truth is it goes by so quickly.

I truly don't want to miss anything due to being preoccupied, hurried, exhausted, or absent.

I really wish I could just freeze time.

I am so looking forward to this Christmas when Chris is home for a week and a half with us.

I just want to soak it up.

Soak it in.

Why do they have to grow up?

Such Concern

I know this picture is so blurry, but I loved this moment and just had to put it on here! (Grayson and Daddy)

Yesterday at lunch Ethan began coughing and choking on a bite of broccoli. His concerned brother Grayson, patted his OWN back and said "You're otay."

Angelic Grayson :)

Then, after lunch, Ethan asked me to "hold you mommy." I told him I couldn't at that moment because I was cleaning up lunch, but instead perhaps he could ask Grayson to hold him instead and they could go cuddle on the couch together. Grayson scrambled out of his chair, ran to the couch, opened up his arms, and sat there smiling and waiting for his brother to come cuddle! Ethan did it too! It then turned in to a game of Ethan yelling out "Hold you Gaysen" and then he would try and hug Grayson while Grayson would squeal and run away laughing. They chased up and down the hallway and in and out of the bedrooms. "Hold you Gaysen, Hold you Gaysen!"

The boys also are VERY interested in the Christmas Tree this year. They love it. We have made a rule that they are not allowed to touch it, because I can just see the chaos that could be unleashed if they are given free reign over it! So instead the boys walk around the tree as close as they possibly can be without actually touching it! They put their hands behind their back, their noses kissing the tree, and then they sing "Oh Tismas Tree, Oh Tismas Tree. La la lee lar or banches!"

Not So Much

Today Chris asked me if I had any clothes that I needed him to take to the dry cleaners along with some of his work clothes.

I just laughed.

My sweatpants, blue jeans, and sweatshirts aren't too difficult to launder last I checked. :)

We've Got Ourselves a Giggler!

This past Saturday my sister-in-law Renee, along with my niece Jessica and nephew Zachary met up with the kids and I at the children's museum. Renee was holding Adelyn and all of a sudden I heard this loud giggle. I spun around and looked at Renee in astonishment. Adelyn was giggling! She kept doing it for Renee, but I still have yet to get her to giggle for me! Renee has the special touch I guess! I told her that Adelyn was probably just laughing AT her, not FOR her. :)

It was the best sound ever! I'm going to keep working on it from this end!

Playing Around

My blog was in need of a little change. Adelyn's picture on my title was an ultrasound pic for Peter, Paul, and Mary's sake!

The little black bird may not stay long. I really want to do a Christmasy (How in the world do you spell that word?? Is that even a word?) one, but I just can't get one to turn out the way I like quite yet...so the black bird it is for now.

It's clean. Fresh. I like it. Doesn't really fit with Baby Jesus, winter, or even Santa Claus for that matter...but ya know...you do what you gotta do. :)

The Calm

May I never take for granted the way that life is at this moment.

How often do I find troubles in my life?

How often do I face problems that I feel are insurmountable?

Tonight as I was preparing dinner, (Chris is out of town) Adelyn was in her bouncy seat on the kitchen table sucking loudly on the sleeve of her shirt, Ethan had his little arms wrapped around my leg saying "Hold you Mommy - hold you", and Grayson was frantically pointing to the little mouse on our Christmas countdown calendar saying "Mouse Mommy! Mouse Mommy! Mouse Mommy! Mouse Mommy!", and I was overcome with the reality of just how blessed I am in this moment.

I have recently witnessed close friends suffer through some tragic circumstances in their lives.

I have been reminded of the frailty and uncertainty of life.

I have been reminded to not let my little problems become mountains.

But instead to savor these days when my children are healthy and here with me.
These days when I have a warm shelter to call my home.
These days when I look in my full pantry and have the "burden" of deciding what to make for dinner.
These days when I have a husband who loves me.
These days when I have two living parents.
These days when Christmas presents are piling up waiting to be wrapped.

I was overcome with emotion this evening as I looked at my life through different eyes.

I then took each one of my children in my arms, I put my lips to their cheek, I wrapped my arms around their tiny, warm little bodies, and I lingered for as long as I possibly could.

May I never take the calm for granted.