Tough Questions

After naps this afternoon the kids and I headed out to run a few errands and enjoy the sunshine after some rain this morning. We pulled in to the parking lot at the park and I spotted a man leaning against the side of the building. No car in sight. Just standing there smoking a cigarette. I just had an unsettled feeling in my gut. From the back seat I heard commentary of "Play here!" "This park! This park!" We had played at this same park a few days earlier and they had loved it. They recognized it.

However, I just couldn't bring myself to unload three children out of the car and ignore that little voice telling me to drive away.

Was that man any danger to me or my children? Probably not. Do I know for sure? No.

So we drove away. As we were leaving the park I told the boys that I just didn't feel comfortable playing at that park that day without Daddy being there with us and we would find another park.

Grayson then said to me "Man scary?" It was just out of the blue. I hadn't even at that point mentioned anything to them about that man, but I guess he had perhaps sensed it too.

Just the other day Chris and I were commenting on how the boys have never yet had to experience anyone who has done them wrong, even anyone who has ever been mean to them. They are very trusting, very friendly boys, and they have never met a stranger.

I took the opportunity today though to give the stranger talk. We talked about how you have to be careful around people you don't know. I told them that most people are very, very nice - but just like dogs (we had the nice dog/mean dog talk a few days ago!), there are some nice people and some people that aren't so nice.

I hated giving that talk.

I hated looking in my rear view mirror and seeing these precious little faces with their eyes open wide, looking out the window, soaking in all that I was telling them, trying to process it.

So many questions followed...

Some people nice?

Some people mean?

Be careful?

Ethan even sensed my heart as we had this conversation. "Mommy sad?" he asked me.

Oh precious children. I wish I could just always keep you in this protected place. This place where you don't ever have to fear, to question, to be guarded. I love your freedom, your love for people, your trusting hearts.

I feel so inadequate sometimes as I cautiously and carefully raise you up in to men, and Adelyn in to a woman. Trying to give you a realistic view of this world, but also protecting and holding on to your incredible innocence.