Saturday, January 29, 2011

Getting There

Why does life continue to happen in between my blog posts? Ha! I really wish I could take after my friend Davene and blog every night.

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Things are continuing to improve in the land of the big boy beds. Thank you for so many helpful comments and suggestions to get us on the right track. Truthfully I found that I just had to chill out and regain perspective over the entire situation. I was really letting the big change get to me and stress me out when I know it will just take time.

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Overall I would say that the boys are doing really great. Chris and I have started to stay in their room with them for now until they can settle down enough to put themselves to sleep without hopping out of bed to play. Once they are down they do fine to stay in bed all night and even will lay there in the morning until we come and get them (usually around 7). A friend of mine suggested that we start out like we are, by laying in their room, and then after a week or so move to sitting by the door, then sit outside the door, and eventually we won't need to monitor at all. It seems to be working so far, so we'll keep going with it!

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The boys LOVE their beds. They are pretty proud of themselves and excited whenever night time rolls around and they get to go back in them again.

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In addition to the boys, we have also sold our home! It became official last week and it is still trying to sink in for me. We will be closing April 21st. We purchased airplane tickets last night for the kids and I to fly out on April 3rd. My parents are flying out to help me so we will each have one child to keep track of. That will be a huge help! After we get up to Minnesota the moving company will be coming here in the next day or so to pack up all our things and move us up there. Chris will follow behind in our van, possibly driving with my brother.

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My emotions are so completely mixed as we approach this move. I am so excited to be near my family. That part just makes me giddy. But it tugs at my heart already to imagine driving away from this house, saying goodbye to the life we have here...

I want to soak up these next two months I have left remaining here with friends and family. I would love to just fill my schedule so full of dinner and coffee dates - to make up for lost time and time that I will no longer have once I move....but yet it's hard to get away when I have these little ones here at home and Chris is traveling so often.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Missing Containment

I am having second thoughts about our decision to move the boys out of their cribs.

It has only been two days, so perhaps I haven't given it a fair chance, but I am having thoughts that maybe it was too soon. Maybe they're too young. Maybe they're not ready.

Perhaps it's just because there are two of them. Two boys. Two wild little boys.

I am exhausted, out of options, and frustrated.

Not always - but at this exact moment- yes I am.

I know it is just going to be a period of adjustment for me too. It changes so much about our routine.

This morning they were up at 6:45 emptying out their closet. Usually in the morning I was able to feed Adelyn and have some time playing with her. I would then get the boys breakfast ready before getting them up for the day. I really enjoyed that time with Adie, because truthfully she doesn't get a lot of time just one on one with me throughout the day.

Of course it's exciting in a way to see the boys growing up and enjoying their beds...I just don't want to do it too soon if we're not ready for it.

We have taken every toy out of their room. We have barricaded their closet so they can no longer go in it and play. Just this afternoon I emptied all of their clothes out of their dresser drawers because they were pulling everything out and trying to put it on instead of sleep.

Their eyes are red and exhausted and I know that if there was just one of them in their room they WOULD lay down and sleep - but when they have a brother distracting them and talking to them and giggling with them it is just too fun to lay down and be quiet!

As I type this I am sitting on the floor of their bedroom. It is 2:37 - about 2 hours after they were put down for their nap.

I would just say we'll just throw in naps all together, but I think they need the quiet time to at least just sit and rest, and truthfully, I need a few minutes to get things done around here!

Even bed time last night was rough. Cute, but rough. We shut their door and we heard them saying "Cool! Cool!" They had found their balls that light up and they were bouncing them in the dark. I ended up laying down on their bedroom floor for awhile until they were close to falling asleep.

I would love to hear from those of you who have been here before.

I have tried punishing them in to staying in their beds, but the new found freedom just appears to be too much! I can't just keep punishing and punishing...but they just won't listen!

I truly don't know what else to try, and I really am considering putting them back in cribs again for awhile until they can handle it.

Help!

Monday, January 24, 2011

My Big Boys

It's 6:29 a.m.

Ethan and Grayson are currently sound asleep.

Their heads are laying on a pillow.

Their 36 pound bodies are covered with a sheet and comforter.

There are no longer any crib walls surrounding them.

My baby boys are in big beds.

I cried after we tucked them in last night.

The sight of them laying there looking up at us in their pjs all ready to fall asleep. Precious.

Grayson cried for a few minutes as he fell asleep, but both boys were out cold by 7:10 and we haven't heard a peep since.

Their good night sleep can't have anything to do with the fact that yesterday during nap time they were loving the freedom that came with no crib to hold them down! I have heard some of my friends say that their children didn't even know they could get out of their beds at first. Well...it took our two stink bugs all of about 1 minute before they realized they could just get up and play instead of sleep!

I can not even describe to you what their room looked like after their nap. It had gotten quiet in their room so Chris and I thought they were finally resting after playing in their toy box a few times, taking books off the book shelf and pushing them underneath their bedroom door, swapping beds over and over and over again...

But...when we finally opened their door after nap time was over we realized they hadn't been resting at all! They had been quiet, but that was only because they were working too hard to make any noise! They had taken every.single.piece. of clothing out of their dresser. They had emptied every.single book. off their book shelf. They had emptied out every.single toy. out of their toy box. They had opened up their diaper genie, took the bag of used diapers out of it, and had the diapers laying on their bedroom floor. Grayson had taken off his pants.

It was quite the sight let me tell you. As you can imagine we are exploring other options for nap time, such as super glue.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Thirtysomething

When I was in middle school I would sometimes see a preview for an upcoming episode of "Thirtysomething" on t.v. I remember thinking to myself how old and grown up they all seemed.

And now here I am....a thirtysomething year old woman myself.

How did this happen?
When did this happen?

I have been an emotional, melancholy mess these past few days.

We had our first house showing this past Monday which was a major yeah, and they are coming back this afternoon to take a second look, which is another major hoorah, however...it has made the reality of this move hit me like a ton of bricks.

Last night I went to a visitation for my dear friend's husband who passed away this past Saturday. I was overcome with emotion and grief as I held her in my arms. She is a friend of mine from teaching. We taught fourth grade together and she was such an incredible mentor and friend to me throughout my five years at that school. She is truly one of a kind and a very remarkable woman. She is a frequent reader of this blog, but that isn't the only reason I'm saying these things! I do just hurt deeply for her though as she tries to make sense of life without her soul mate. Let me tell you too...these two were so in love. They have two grown sons, they have been married for a number of years - and yet they were like two giddy high schoolers in their love for each other. It always encouraged me in my marriage to see the two of them together.

Along with seeing her last night I was also able to see so many other dear people that I have gotten to know over our past six years of living here. Coworkers, parents of students I have taught, past principals...so many familiar faces.

I am going to miss it here.

Of course part of me is SO excited to get back to Minnesota. I can't wait to be close to my family and have the opportunity to see them more frequently and spontaneously, yet it is hard to close this chapter on our life and look ahead to many unknowns.

As I write this I have tears streaming down my cheeks.

I am a blessed woman. Blessed by so many that have called me friend and taken me in over these past years. I know that when we move our relationships won't be severed, but I also know that they will change. It is just the way it is.

I am just embracing each moment that we have left here. Every time I walk down the hallway in our home. Every time I have the opportunity to hug a friend. Every time I wake up and grab a coffee mug out of my cupboard. I am just truly trying to soak it in.

Soon it will be a memory, a part of our story, a chapter in our book...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Over and Out

Chris and I are leaving shortly for 24 hours away alone! Woo hoo! :) Chris's parents gave us a night away, babysitting included, as a Christmas gift. I am pretty excited, and even have a one hour massage scheduled this afternoon at 4! Am I dreaming? :) We are leaving behind all electronics, except my cell phone just in case, until tomorrow afternoon.

I will check in soon!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Share It or Shut It?

"The king of Israel answered, ‘Tell him: "One who puts on his armor should not boast like one who takes it off."'"1 Kings 20:11 (NIV)

Daily I receive a Bible Study email from Proverbs 31ministries. I found the one from January 5th to be especially interesting and thought provoking for me.

If I am being real, which is where I like to keep it, I must admit that I truly don't have much personal motivation when it comes to matters of taking care of ME. I will bend over backwards sticking to my plan when it comes to caring for my husband, children, home, family, or friends...but when it comes to goals and desires that I have for myself I tend to throw in the towel almost as soon as I begin.

This ain't a great trait.

This is why, personally, I never take much stock in New Years Resolutions. It has almost gotten to the point for me where I know I won't keep the resolution, so why even make one in the beginning? Isn't that sad? I'm allowing myself to give up before I even make a goal to start!

I have also found though that if I DO set a goal for myself (be it exercise, having daily devotions, sneaking out for regular spa or coffee time, taking a shower (ha!)) I like to tell people about it. I have said to my husband on numerous occasions "Chris, I'm going to start working out! I'm going to lose 10 pounds!" He pumps me up every time and makes me feel so good about my decision....and then I do it for awhile - a couple weeks maybe, and I stop. A few months later "Hey Chris! I'm going to start working out! I'm really going to lose 10 pounds this time!" You get the picture...

SO - back to this devotion.

Here it is straight from the author's mouth...or text:

Recently, I heard successful entrepreneur Derek Sivers explain why some people shouldn't announce their goals. According to several scientific studies, it seems some of us get mental gratification just by talking about our goals without actually doing the work. While this opposes common understanding of accountability, I can see the truth in it.

I can see the truth in this for me too when I stop and think about it. It's easy to say it - it's the following through part that gets to me! As we've all heard "actions speak louder than words" and it really is true. The speaking part is easy, it's making it happen that gets me every time!
Now not to say that we should keep everything to ourselves though either. I am a person who really does need accountability. Sometimes having someone walk along beside me is one way to keep me motivated and moving! I guess I need there to be more though than me just announcing my goals to give me a boost or make me feel good about the idea!

Lately I have been really seeking the Lord and searching myself when it comes to personal "goals" and desires that I have. It would be easy for me to make a bullet list of them here...to maybe have a few of you comment and say "Wow Beth! That is great! Way to go!" before I even really DO anything. Instead I am going to keep them to myself, push myself, and commit to following through with things I have set myself to do.

Here is the video from Derek Sivers that is mentioned by the author above:

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

You Know You're a Lazy Busy Mother When...

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You clean your stairs with your socks instead of getting out a broom and dust pan. (Tell me I'm not the only one who does this sometimes!)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Clifford too?

We're moving on up! To big boy beds that is! Chris and I have been putting it off as long as possible. We just didn't want to mess with something that was working so well (a.k.a. evenings to ourselves without being disturbed by little boys escaping from their room!).

But it's time. I'm not quite sure how it's already time, but it is.

The other morning I walked in to see Grayson laying over the top railing of his crib. His legs and waist were hanging off the back penned between the crib and the wall. When I entered he just grinned up at me and said "Hiiiiiiiiii!" I said "Grayson, please put your legs back in your crib before you fall down and get hurt." He swung his little legs over the bar like it was no big deal and that was that.

This is also a very familiar scene (and sound) from their room when it is time for
their nap.
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Ethan is on the left and Grayson is on the right. They just minutes before had a bed full of blankets, books, and stuffed animals. They throw those things across the room as soon as I close their door. *Sigh* :)

And so...we realize that it is indeed time to face it. I was kind of hoping we could keep the whole crib thing going until they were at least 10 but I give...

We purchased these toddler beds for them.
We had considered going right to single beds,- but decided with space issues we would go with toddler beds for now as we try to sell our home.
The boys are very excited about their "bih boy" beds and yesterday morning they were asking me who else sleeps in big boy beds. Bapa too? Yep. Ama too? Yep. Daddy too? Yep. Mommy too? Yep. Jessica too?Yep. Renee too? Yep. Pop too? Yep. MawMaw too? Yep. Snowman too? Yep, why not. Clifford too? "No," I told them,"Clifford is a dog. Dog's sleep on the floor." It just had to stop somewhere!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

You Know You're a Mother of Toddlers When...

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You pull a pea out of your son's nose with a pair of tweezers.

A Year Gone By, And a New One Lays Before Us...

Last night I was looking back on blog posts I wrote last January.

I was amazed to read that Ethan and Grayson were just beginning to take their first steps.

Now, a year later, they literally run everywhere they go!

In some ways it feels like this past year went by in the blink of an eye. 2010 in so many ways was a whirlwind to me.

We discovered we were pregnant.
We lost my precious Grandma to cancer.
We discovered many firsts in raising one year old twins.
I was put back on bed rest.
A precious little girl named Adie joined our family.
Chris took a new job.
We decide to relocate to Minnesota.
2 little boys turned two.

What all will 2011 bring?

I look ahead with excitement, with uncertainty, with mixed emotions.

There will be a lot of changes for our family in the year ahead.

We will find a new home.
We will be living in a new state.
We will have to say goodbye to dear family and friends here along with the place that we have called home for the past six years.
We will be able to be near my family.
We will celebrate 10 years of marriage.
At the end of this next year we will have two 3 year olds and a 16 month old.

What blog entries will I write this year?
What stories will I have to tell?

Chris and I spent part of our New Years Eve praying in the New Year. Praying for protection over our family, over our marriage, over our children, over our home. Praying for guidance as we take these huge steps of faith to move our family half way across the country.

I am overwhelmed and nervous sometimes wondering how it will all come together. Will we sell our home? Will the kids adjust okay? Can I be a good mother in the midst of trying to keep a house clean and ready for a showing at any minute?

I'm sure there will be challenges in the year ahead. There always are. I'm also sure there will be a lot of laughter and smiles, along with some tears.

Here's to a new year!

Happy New Year everyone!

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