Teacher

I love to teach.

I have known since I was a little girl that I wanted to be an elementary teacher.

My aunt Emilie was a teacher and she would give me old grade books, workbooks, and worksheets that I could use to play school. My cousin Ann and I would play school for hours whenever she came to visit (Ann is now a teacher too!).

I had an entire classroom set up in my bedroom. I had roll call every morning.

I had two very bad students named Tom and Michelle that were always being sent to the principals office. (I have taught a few "Toms" and "Michelles" over the years!)

I have always loved it.

When I was hired as a fourth grade teacher six years ago I was so excited. I couldn't believe that my dream of having my OWN classroom was going to become a reality.

I was scared.

I was nervous.

I feared the ability to control my students and wondered if I could actually assist them in learning!

I had some struggles the first year, as I'm sure all new teachers do, but I also fell in love with it instantly.

I felt at home.

That was in September of 2004.

For the next five years I fell in to a job and a school that I loved. I taught so many amazing students, worked with so many passionate teachers, and was administered by some pretty awesome principals. It really was a great fit for me.

And then I got pregnant. :)

And there were two of them.

And Chris and I talked about what the future of our family looked like.

What would we do?

Would we do daycare? If so, who?

Would I stay home? If so, how?

We made lists of the pros and cons. We debated and discussed and pondered....

and we came to the conclusion that for our family me becoming a teacher to our sons here at home was more beneficial than me being a teacher to my classroom of nine year olds.

It wasn't an easy decision to make. I had many tears as I said goodbye to my classroom, as I said goodbye to my students, as I said goodbye to my friends...

Yesterday I was able to step back in to the school in the role of substitute teacher. I taught all day long in the classroom right next to the one I taught in for five years. At one point in the day yesterday I had to go in to my old classroom and ask the current teacher a question.

I took a minute to just look around.

It still felt like my room.

I could picture my desk.

My things.

My flair and touches around the room...

yet there was another name on the door.

Someone else's handwriting was up on the chalkboard.

It wasn't my room any longer.

I find myself becoming so melancholy at times.

I know that I can go back to teaching here in a few years after I have raised my children.

I plan on that and I'm excited for it.

I am also so thankful that I am home with Ethan and Grayson. I truly wouldn't trade it for the world.

I honestly too don't know how I would manage working full time and still take care of my pregnant little self and my two nearly 18 month old boys. I have many super mom friends who do it, and they amaze me...but I just don't think I'm quite as talented...or put together. :)

I do not regret my decision about staying home, but I do find myself missing it at times.

Maybe part of it is realizing that being in that classroom, in that team, in my twenties, having my pre-baby body is now a part of my history. A part of my legacy. :)

It will no longer be exactly as it was.

I have beautiful, beautiful memories of that time.

The songs I sung with my students.

The crab hats I would wear with my team.

The feeling of excitement when one of my struggling students would pass a test.

The friendships that I made and still maintain.

It was truly a wonderful time in my life and I am so thankful that I had that experience.

It was one of those major milestones that has impacted me and the person that I am today.

Irene, T, Anne Marie, and myself on a field trip '07

Colonial Day '07

Colonial Day with 4th Grade Team

The only one that was REALLY pregnant at the time was Cheryl on the far right. :)

Twin day with my precious student Emily

80's Day! Work it!

Knox

Cleaning our desks on the last day of school '06

My gang '06

To those friends and co-workers who didn't make my blog in pictures (you know who you are!)...it isn't because I don't love you...it's just cuz I didn't have any pictures saved on my computer of you! If you have some, send them to me, and I will put you up on here in flashing lights! :)