Arise

Mom, Me, Cousin Lacey, SIL Hayley, Cousin Keri, Cousin Ann, Aunt Melody

The weekend was a gift.  The perfect birthday gift.  It was so great to spend some time with these women in my family that I love!  The conversation was rich and deep – we challenged and laid our hearts open before each other.  It was good.

The speaker, Graham Cooke, did his thing.  I wasn’t disappointed from all that I had heard of him before.  He has this crazy sense of humor that, even in the midst of a tough lesson, kept me laughing through the entire sermon.  There were many, many things that he mentioned that were new revelations to me.  New ways to think of things.  New ways to approach life.  About living in the past, focusing on past regrets, living in the negative. 

I left there so encouraged and filled up.  I was just anxious to get home to my family!  So anxious in fact that I woke up Sunday morning at 5:30 and drove home to have some quiet time with Chris before the kids woke up for the day.  Ever since I have been an emotional mess. 

It just made me see things a different way.  To focus on the big picture.  I truly do believe that there is a God out there who intimately loves me.  So then when I hold my children in my lap and breathe in the smell of their skin and kiss those chubby little cheeks – I am completely undone.  I have been overwhelmed with the love I have for my children and my husband.  It’s almost like I’ve been given this new dose of the reality of how blessed I am.  It’s just good stuff.

So then yesterday, the kids and I went to run a few errands before heading to the gym.  We were at Sam’s Club, and often times if the boys do a great job shopping I will give them a nickel to put in one of those donation containers where the money spins around and around before crashing in to the bottom.  They love it.  While I was checking out yesterday Grayson had his hands all over the card scanner at the store at the counter behind me.  Pushing buttons, playing with the pen… I asked him to stop and reminded him that there would be no nickel unless he would obey right away.  I paid for my purchase and turned back around to see that he was disobeying and still playing.  I finished checking out and pulled the boys aside.  I gave Ethan his nickel and then explained to Grayson why he wouldn’t be getting a nickel today.  The tears came.  I made him look in my eyes and had him explain to me what had happened that resulted in the consequence of him losing his money.  He told me exactly what had happened.  So, Ethan deposited his change, and out the door he went.  Quietly?  No.  Grayson was doing fine until he witnessed Ethan dropping his nickel in.  Then loudly Grayson made it known that he too really, really wanted a nickel.  We got to the car, I buckled them in, unloaded the cart, and talked again with Grayson.  He calmed, but at this point was not in the greatest of moods.

And then we went to the gym.  My boy was in a bad mood.  Grouchy as all get out. I was certain that as soon as we got in to the gym and he was able to go and play that he would be fine and run off.  Not so.  I try to drop him off and he is clinging to me as if there is a room full of alligators coming after him.  I mean, it was like he was suctioned to me!  He was crying so loudly.  I was getting many looks and comments from other mothers around me.  The teachers in the class were trying to distract him, but to no avail.  I tried every tactic I could think of to get his mind to focus on something else and go play.  He just kept saying that he just wanted to go home.  Adelyn and Ethan had already run off and were playing contentedly.  I just didn’t know what to do.  Out of frustration, I went and pulled Ethan and Adelyn out of their class and decided that we would just go home.  When we got in the car and were getting ready to back out Grayson begins crying again and says, “But I want to play at the gym!”  Seriously child?  And then for some emotional, crazy reason – I just started to cry.  I sat there in the parking lot and cried.  My children all sat there looking at me like, “This woman is losing it.”  I was just so frustrated.  Embarrassed. 

I texted Chris out of frustration and told him what had just happened.  I had never yet had to deal with something like that in public.  I know it happens.  I’ve seen it happen.  I just didn’t know what to do!

We got home and Grayson and I had a long talk.  A good talk. 

Then Chris called.  He told me he was on his way to grab some lunch and bring it home for the two of us and then have a talk with Grayson.  Hearing that just brought all the tears again.  What an incredible husband and father, to care enough about me and the raising of his child to take the time to do that.  I was just really touched. 

Him and Grayson had another good talk, I received a genuine apology from G, and then we moved on.

That boy can be the sweetest, most tender hearted thing.  Then on the flip side he also has a pretty stubborn streak.  He likes to try and control most every situation and is a very strong willed little boy!  I just pray for wisdom every day in dealing with him!  My wild stallion!  Yesterday afternoon he woke from nap first and helped me prepare strawberries and salad.  We had the best conversation and he seemed to really enjoy that time.  I know I did.

Today is a new day!