Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Good Place

We were sick for two weeks.  Some kind of creeping crud that kept the kiddos down with a fever, runny nose, pink eye, and a cough that kept them up at night.  It was a long two weeks, but that’s the way it is when your children have learned the value of sharing and love to pass their germs among each other.  Such obedient children.

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Adelyn sick with pink eye.  I’m sure she loved having her picture taken.

But now we are back and better than ever!  Having sick children makes you so thankful for healthy ones!  Now that they are back to their smiley, mischievous little selves I realize just how much I missed them when they were sick!  IMG_1758

Healthy!

I have been just soaking it in these past few days.  Yesterday the kids and I were shopping at Menards, picking up some spray paint for a project I’m going to attempt even though my husband thinks I’m nuts, and they were all just being so stinkin cute.  I was buckling them in to their seats and each one of them was just covering my face in wet kisses when it was their turn.  They were giggling so hard.  When I stepped back out of the van to shut the door I looked at each of those faces smiling at me and my heart just about burst.  How blessed am I to have the honor of loving these children?  To get to know them the way that I get to know them?  To spend the amount of time with them that I get to spend?  To create such incredible people?

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They are just truly awesome little people.  I know ever parent thinks that about their child, and I think that’s a good thing!  Every child is an awesome little person! I just love watching their personalities unfolding.

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Little Adelyn, 21 months going on 16, is really starting to find her voice and she ain’t afraid to use it.  My sweet, laid back, contented little girl isn’t always so anymore.  At one point last night after asking her to put her toys away, she grabbed her baby doll, clutched it to her chest, scowled at me and said, “No. Mine!”  Ahem.  Not going to work little miss miss, but nice try.  Smile

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When her brothers try to hug her she stomps her little feet and cries. It is only on her terms that she gives hugs.  She likes it when they ask her for a hug, and then usually, if she is in a generous mood, she will grant them one.  At bed time she also loves to kiss her brothers goodnight, or at least she claims that’s what she wants to do.  She’ll go up to them and say “night brudder” and then when they try to hug and kiss her she runs away from them.  They get upset and she loves it.

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Ethan and Grayson are just growing up.  Too fast.  They are doing so many things now on their own.  They can basically dress themselves completely, only asking me if the tag is in the back before putting on their pants.  Now granted it sometimes takes them multiple minutes unless there is a fun activity waiting as a result of their getting dressed!  They want to do everything themselves.  Put their own toothpaste on their brush, carry their own plate to the table, peel their own banana, buckle their own seatbelt.  They are also hungry for learning.  They have been wanting to learn how to write their letters recently.  All of the sudden they can hold a pencil the right way.  I didn’t even really teach them how, it was like it just came naturally. 

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The other day at a BBQ Grayson came running towards me with his pants around his ankles.  He had gotten wet and they had gotten heavy.  Uff da is right!

The other day, after returning from the park, the kids and I went to look at our vegetable garden.  The wind was blowing some and the vegetables were moving around. Ethan looked at them and said, “Look Mommy! The vegetables are having a dance party!”

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Ethan and some creepy weirdo known as his mother. Poor kid.

This reminds me of one other cute thing I need to mention on here.  After a bath the boys love to be wrapped up in their towel “like a taco.”  So I wrap it around their bodies and secure it tight.  They then claim that they are having a taco party.  They waddle around in their towels and say, “We’re having a taco party!  Who wants to come to our taco party?”

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Life is busy.  It is crazy. The day seems like it is done before it even begins.  I am trying to find ways to slow it down, but it just aint’ happening. Between breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry, diapers, hand washing, breaking up fights, sweeping floors, scrubbing pee off the walls, bathing kids, dressing kids, lotioning kids, reading books, blowing raspberries, giving kisses, and cuddling time there just doesn’t seem to be much time for anything else.  I’m okay with that.  I sneak in moments here or there where I can read a chapter in a book, get in a workout at the gym, catch up on Facebook, or talk to a dear friend on the phone.

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But I’m okay with this pace of life.  I’m okay with the constant mess, crumbs, pee, and fingerprints. 

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I love walking through the kitchen with children attached to my legs.  I love the feel of that little blonde head of curly hair laid upon my shoulder.  I love the way it feels when Grayson squeezes my neck with his little arms and plants a kiss on my lips.  I love the sound of my boys voices asking me such innocent questions about the way life works.

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Welcome to the rock show.

I’m just soaking it in in this good place.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Separate

My boys are always together.

They wake up at the exact same time nearly every morning.  And if one brother wakes up first and the other one isn’t quite yet awake, his brother has no problem jumping in to help remedy that situation.

They eat their meals together.

They play together.  Even when I attempt to get them involved in activities that separate them from each other for a period of time, they always seem to gravitate toward one another – like some cosmic pull that forces their bodies to always be side by side.

They sleep together.  The cutest little beds side by side in a room void of anything else (even a light bulb) to help diminish the temptations that seem to come when there’s stuff to do besides sleep. Smile

For goodness sake they even use the bathroom together.  They love to stand at the toilet and “make an x.” Lately they compete about whose stream is on top. 

Compete.

Compete.

Compete.

I know to an extent it’s healthy, and good, and aids in challenging both boys…but it grows wearisome.  Not just for me as their mother, but for them.

To always have someone next to you who wants to share your same toy, same snack, same sister, same room, same bathroom…

Even though it’s amazing and has incredible moments when the stars align and the boys hug and kiss and wrestle and profess their love for each other stating that their brother is their best friend – we also felt like it would be so good for them to have some time apart.

For them to realize that they are a separate entity from their brother.  They alone, individually, are special.  Unique.  Loved.

So today Bapa took Grayson to the farm for two days of alone time.  The original plan was for Adelyn to tag along too, thus providing some alone time also on this end for Mommy, Daddy, and the remaining son…but this morning Adelyn was diagnosed with pink eye – so there is no way this Mama’s heart could send her away from my sight. 

All week we have prepared the boys for this.  They couldn’t decide who was going to go and who was going to stay.  They both didn’t want to miss any fun on either end! 

Finally yesterday it was decided (by them) that this time Grayson would go and Ethan would stay.  They were both completely fine with that decision. The two boys shared a long hug before saying goodbye to each other today.  Adelyn, Ethan and I sat on the front steps and watched joyfully as Bapa strapped Grayson in and we said our goodbyes. As soon as the car started backing out of the driveway though the reality of what was happening seemed to hit Ethan.  He clung to me, “Don’t leave without me!" “Come back! Come back!”  It broke my heart.  Huge sobs.

We went inside and I calmed him down, explained to him again what this meant for him staying home, how he too would have some special time with just Mommy and Daddy.  He wasn’t buying it right away. Smile  It wasn’t long before smiles replaced the tears.

We read a pile of books before nap time.

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He was able to do some Starfall on Mommy’s computer after nap.

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He helped me make dinner.

We got to play outside with water.

After Adelyn went to sleep we popped some popcorn and watched a show together, curled up in a blanket holding hands. (He gave me a “cheers” with our water cups tonight and said, “Cheers to alone time with just my Mommy!”)

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It was a special evening.  Strange and a bit empty without my other precious boy – but oh so amazing and special to really get to know my children individually.  I crave that time with them, to really talk with them, hear them, connect with them.

Tonight while entering his bedroom Ethan sadly said to me, “Who am I going to sleep with tonight?”  This is their first night alone ever since their 1 week separation when Ethan came home first from the NICU.

We talked it through.  I left the bathroom door open a little more than usual to allow a little more light to shine in.  I sang him an extra song.  We made it good.

A few seconds ago I heard a contented yawn coming from the room next to mine. 

Off to sleep he goes.

Praying his brother is peacefully doing the same.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Motherhood

What an incredible time in my life.

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I love these outtakes.  This picture was attempted at 7 last evening after no nap for all three.  It wasn’t until Daddy did some armpit noises that we finally got a good one!  You do what you got to do!

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The time in my life that leaves little room for updating this blog, although mothering is the reason that I want to!

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I love being a mother to my three young children.

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I am so incredibly honored that I can be called their Mother.

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Today I felt love.

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Today I felt contentment. 

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I told Chris the only gift I wanted for Mother’s Day was to spend the day together doing something.

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He delivered.

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We had the children’s first visit ever to the zoo.  They loved it.

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We then were able to sneak in a quick surprise visit with my parents and brother’s family at a nearby park for some ice cream afterwards.  What a treat to be able to squeeze my own little Mama on this day!  How thankful I am for her!  She is truly one of my best friends, and the only person besides Chris who I talk to every day.  I love you Mom!

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My brother Mike with Dad, Mom, and my niece Gabbi.  Can we just take a moment to notice how handsome Michael is with his hair cut short?  I love this brother of mine! I love watching him as a father.  He’s a pretty incredible one if my unbiased self does say so.

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Mike’s wife Hayley.  Also an incredible Mama!  I am so thankful that God united her to my brother, all the way from South Africa!

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This little girl adores her Bapa!

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