Thirtysomething

When I was in middle school I would sometimes see a preview for an upcoming episode of "Thirtysomething" on t.v. I remember thinking to myself how old and grown up they all seemed.

And now here I am....a thirtysomething year old woman myself.

How did this happen?
When did this happen?

I have been an emotional, melancholy mess these past few days.

We had our first house showing this past Monday which was a major yeah, and they are coming back this afternoon to take a second look, which is another major hoorah, however...it has made the reality of this move hit me like a ton of bricks.

Last night I went to a visitation for my dear friend's husband who passed away this past Saturday. I was overcome with emotion and grief as I held her in my arms. She is a friend of mine from teaching. We taught fourth grade together and she was such an incredible mentor and friend to me throughout my five years at that school. She is truly one of a kind and a very remarkable woman. She is a frequent reader of this blog, but that isn't the only reason I'm saying these things! I do just hurt deeply for her though as she tries to make sense of life without her soul mate. Let me tell you too...these two were so in love. They have two grown sons, they have been married for a number of years - and yet they were like two giddy high schoolers in their love for each other. It always encouraged me in my marriage to see the two of them together.

Along with seeing her last night I was also able to see so many other dear people that I have gotten to know over our past six years of living here. Coworkers, parents of students I have taught, past principals...so many familiar faces.

I am going to miss it here.

Of course part of me is SO excited to get back to Minnesota. I can't wait to be close to my family and have the opportunity to see them more frequently and spontaneously, yet it is hard to close this chapter on our life and look ahead to many unknowns.

As I write this I have tears streaming down my cheeks.

I am a blessed woman. Blessed by so many that have called me friend and taken me in over these past years. I know that when we move our relationships won't be severed, but I also know that they will change. It is just the way it is.

I am just embracing each moment that we have left here. Every time I walk down the hallway in our home. Every time I have the opportunity to hug a friend. Every time I wake up and grab a coffee mug out of my cupboard. I am just truly trying to soak it in.

Soon it will be a memory, a part of our story, a chapter in our book...