Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The UnSuper Mom

I came across this yesterday and fell in love. It just spoke to me. There are so many days when I am overwhelmed by all the "to-do's" that life throws my way. I can look at women around me who appear to do it all, and I can feel guilt and envy rearing their ugly head. This was just an awesome reminder to see that I am not alone in this awesome journey of motherhood, and to just take a deep breath and soak in these little bodies around me...and maybe, just maybe, take a little time for myself once in awhile too.

Taken from www.productiveparenting.com

The Un-Super Mom

By Jill VanHimbergen

It seems to me that there’s an awful lot of praise these days for the multi-tasker, the Super Mom, the “She does it all!” type of gal. This evolved breed of woman plunges the toilet while she
breastfeeds the baby, responds to email, stirs the chili, kisses her husband and
reads her four-year-old Corduroy and the New Pocket. This evolved breed
of woman works full time, moms full time, presides over her local MOPS group,
and hits the gym at least five times a week. In addition, this knock-your-socks-off lady gets the thank-you-notes in the mail the day after she receives the gift, immediately uploads her photos to Facebook, and throws a helluva baby shower.

I have discovered, after three years of motherhood, that I am not this “How in the world does she do it all?!” type of girl. I am more of a “Well, I guess she does the best with what she has” kind of chick. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I multitask all right. No gettin’ around that one. But
things turn out kind of sloppy, mis-shapen, and misplaced when I do. Dirty
diapers get thrown down the laundry chute, library books grow fees, coupons get
thrown down the pit of despair that is my pantry, and sometimes, especially when
headed to the zoo, I hear a little voice from the backseat say, “Mommy, are we
lost or something?”

I have tried hard to evolve into the Super-Mom-She-Creature I feel that many of my peers have successfully become, but it seems that if I attempt to run an errand, have a playdate and make a meal all in the same day, I will more than likely burst into flames.And yet something repeatedly gnaws at me to become a person I am not meant to be. This twisted inner voice that says, Oh, man, she has three kids and she organizes fundraisers for bone marrow transplants? I should do something like that. Or Oh, wow, she’s got two kids and she figures out how to shop at four different grocery stores to buy only organic and local and make five meals a week that do
not include macaroni or chicken nuggets. I should buy a cookbook or something
and figure out how to do that.

So, who is this little devil inside me that is repeatedly trying to convince me to bite off more than I can chew? This twisted little voice who tries to convince me to be something that I’m not? Is
it my own twisted psyche? Society? Oprah?Whatever it is, it’s time for it to shush. Somewhere along the way, I filled my giant pockets with greedy handfuls of guilt. Guilt that my house isn’t clean enough, that my kid’s birthday party isn’t cool enough, that I am not present enough, that I am not creative enough. Somewhere along the way, I got this idea that I could and should DO IT ALL.But today, that’s changing. Today, I’m putting on a pocketless sundress and I’m skipping through my clover-filled yard to go on a bear hunt with my boys. I’m leaving the crap on the counter and the blocks on the floor. I’m making tuna melts for dinner. And I’m starting a
movement.A movement in praise of the Un-Super Mom, the mono-tasker, the
“I can only handle one thing at a time!” type of gal.

The Un-Super Mom does not run the PTA, the book club, and the church youth group. The Un-Super Mom has a glass of wine in front of her DVRed shows, reads her book, and goes to
bed. The Un-Super Mom does not organize the coat closet and she does not dust
the ceiling fans. The Un-Super Mom takes a nap. She might even eat a clichéd
bon-bon or two…or four. The Un-Super Mom does not pull her weeds. She embraces
them as God’s lush, green, shrub-choking plan for her garden. The Un-Super Mom
has lollipop sticks stuck to the leather seating of her car and she has—GASP!—
processed foods in her pantry. The Un-Super Mom sometimes lets her kids watch
more than the suggested daily hour of TV.

The Un-Super Mom is the mom who figures out how to NOT do it all, the mom who drinks her coffee and reads the newspaper and maybe stays in her pajamas a little too long. The mom who accepts the fact that she has limits. That they are unique to her. And that they are to
be embraced and respected.And to all you “Do It All” Mamas out there
staying up tonight to fold laundry, check emails, and make scrapbooks? You go
girls! But I’m not with you tonight. Tonight I’m gonna eat a cookie and go to
bed. I’m leaving the laundry in the basket, the toy boat on the stairs, and the
unopened mail on the counter. I’m emptying my pockets of all the guilt and
missed expectations and I’m accepting the fact that I simply was not wired to
run a fundraiser, iron shirts, or give a crap about cooking from scratch.

Goodnight, scary little Martha Stewart/Oprah voice in my head. Come back when
you resemble something much cooler and funnier like Gilda Radner or Tina Fey.

Then, we’ll talk.


  1. Ha! I needed this one today. Sometimes, just sometimes I want to casually stick my foot out and trip singleton moms. HEHE.... did I just say that!?!? Thanks for the awesome post!

  2. Great post! I feel like lately that when I talk to other moms about my homeschooling idea that they look at me and think I'm one of those super moms. But truth is, I'm scared and lost too, but still hoping to become a super mom, at least when it comes to education! We almost always watch tv, too much. We have processed foods daily. My house is always cluttered. Etc. Etc. But, I'm still a pretty good mom, I think! And so are you!

  3. Love it! I don't know why we mothers try to be something we r not! Thanks for the reminder! And thanks for sharing!

  4. I am laughing and maybe, just maybe, crying a little! I am not sure what to think, because I bought a box of mac 'n' cheese the other day and I almost always veg out on the couch with my husband at the end of the day to watch one of our favorite shows, but on the other hand, I dusted all my ceiling fans a few weeks ago with Adam's help! This is just too funny!

    It's so hard to not compare ourselves, isn't it? I think I'm finally getting better at not comparing. We all have God given strengths that we can capitalize on, and we all have God-given weaknesses that we can let Him prove Himself in.

    I once heard it said that the true Super-Mom is the one who remembers that her husband and children are her top priority. And with that criteria, you are definitely super!

  5. Anonymous10.1.12

    Oh my gosh! I so love this post! I am getting caught up on your blog tonight and missing you. Just so you know, you are an amazing mom! Never doubt that! :)



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