Don't You Ever Grow Up

I find myself at times thinking about how much easier life will be when my children are just a little bit older.

I often tell Chris "Well, when they are just a little bit older we can do so and so."

Sometimes I even find myself lost in a daydream of what life will be like when we no longer have to worry about diapers, naps, cutting up food, holding crying children....

And then I have moments when it hits me that life as we know it right now is changing much too quickly. I will soon look back and all of those things that I had only dreamt of will be a reality.

I can not believe that my baby boys, my tiny five pound babies, my firstborn sons, will be turning two tomorrow. How is that even possible?

Tonight as I fed Adelyn before bed, I sat her up to burp her and she was leaning forward resting on my hand. Her little tired head was resting against my chest, and I just buried my face in the back of her neck, kissed it, and just tried to stop and remember what that moment felt like. A quiet house, a dimly lit bedroom, the little warm body of my daughter nestled on my lap.

I always think I won't forget what moments like that felt like.
That we will have countless more evenings and feedings just like that.

But the truth is it goes by so quickly.

I truly don't want to miss anything due to being preoccupied, hurried, exhausted, or absent.

I really wish I could just freeze time.

I am so looking forward to this Christmas when Chris is home for a week and a half with us.

I just want to soak it up.

Soak it in.

Why do they have to grow up?