Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Gentle Reminder

Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

taken from MOTHERHOOD AS A MISSION FIELD by:Rachel Jankovic






It's not always easy being a Mom.

There are moments when I just want to go incognito and slip away unnoticed, unneeded for just a short period of time.
I have times where I whine and pout (acting much like some certain two year olds I know), mourning the life I used to have. The freedom. The career. The time to myself. The ability to shower on a regular basis...
It's true. It's pathetic. It's completely and utterly selfish. And yet, it happens. I am a selfish person. Even though I love my children truly more than my own life, even though I would do anything I could for them, I still have moments where I think "Is this really the reality of my life? Am I sure this isn't some kind of bad dream I'll wake up from at any moment?"
Now it's not all that bad. I'm sure any mother can relate to the type of bi-polar behavior I seem to demonstrate on any given day. One minute I can be oohing and ahhing over how spectacularly sweet and adorable my children are being, and the next minute I am walking out of the room to breathe before I blow my lid!
Yesterday was one of those days that left me scouring the internet looking for possible job openings this upcoming fall. I had decided that I was going back to work and wasn't cut out for this stay-at-home-mom gig!
Today was a different day. A friend told me it might be. It was.
It wasn't perfect. Grayson still threw his shoe at his sister and hit her in the face while driving in the car. Ethan choked on his sandwich at the restaurant and I had to do some Jackie Chan moves to hurdle myself out of the table, around Adelyn, and over the stroller to get to him. Ethan woke up an hour ago crying that he was sick, even though I'm praying that he is just overtired. Adelyn ate something off the dining room floor and I have no idea what it was, except that she made a fairly disgusted face while gumming it.
But in the midst of all those imperfections that come with every day, I also have a list of things from today that lifted me up...
- Adelyn crawled four big steps (strides, maneuvers, rotations?) across the living room. (My baby is growing up!)
- Ethan stopped his playing on our outing this afternoon, just to approach me saying "Hug my Mommy." After a quick grab he ran off again.
-Ethan had me fix the wheels on a truck of theirs, only to turn around, hold it out to his brother, and say "Here Grayson!"
-Grayson serenaded me while I made dinner tonight with Jesus Loves Me, Eenie Meenie Miney Moe (I really need to take the time to look up the spelling on that!), the ABC song, and Twinkle Twinkle.
-The way that Adelyn squeals when she sees me enter her room after a nap or in the morning. She kicks her feet in to her mattress, her entire face lights up, and she just giggles and shrieks. Melts my heart.
-The way the boys wanted to hold my hand as we walked up the stairs to head to bed tonight.
- Talking to my husband on the phone and having a really nice conversation about our day. Just the thought of knowing that he is there. My partner.
- The fact that my parents celebrated 37 years of marriage today. What a milestone! How thankful and blessed I am to have them together and more in love than ever after all these years.


  1. My favorite post! You put motherhood perfectly and yes I think we al have those bipolar days!! You are blessed with such beautiful children!!

  2. Oh I feel your pain (and i got your email - hope to respond soon!). I LOVE the quote at the beginning. I just need to remember those words in the moment......those moments where I feel I just can't take it anymore!!! I need to remember that I am a living sacrifice.....

    And a Jackie Chan move......too funny! Hope he's okay!

    I've had a full week of bipolar days when it comes to motherhood. The weather we've been having this summer just does not help matters at our household.

    God called us to do this motherhood thing, friend! He's also equipped us! It's tough, though. But what kind of reward is there for doing easy things? Hang in there! I'm here with ya!

  3. Anonymous24.6.11

    Cassie and Kelly - these comments moved me to tears yesterday. They were such an encouragement to me, and just what I needed to hear! Thank you both!


  4. Beautiful post Beth. And the day will come when you will laugh at these days along with your kids, just like you kids and dad and I do now!! Your post was real and honest Beth! You are a wonderful mother and your kids are blessed!

  5. I know I am a little late seeing this post (I'm on vacation and soaking it in) but I can relate to the "bipolarness" (so not a word of parenthood. Just before leaving VA I was trying to pack for 3.5 weeks, clean the house, and it was like 100 degrees in our non-air conditioned house. My kids would NOT STOP TOUCHING ME. It wasn't what they were saying or doing to each other.... I just had no personal space at all. Dan walked in and I was standing on the BACK of our couch!!! He looked at me in a curious way and I told him I was simply standing where no one could reach me. The thing is, he just smiled and went on his way. Because he knew too that sometime you just need to do what you have to do. But then today I spent an hour swinging in my hammock with my little girl talking and snuggling and smiling and my heart just wants to burst because my life was just so stinking empty before my family came along. These little people are pretty amazing and I get to feel amazing because of them.

    I know very few people who have a better outlook on life than you. You have always been able to see a silver lining, even if it takes a day or so to find it. Thank you for the inspiration!
    Cheryl M


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